she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
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Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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