At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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