I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
