I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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