sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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