The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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