I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
