i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
