nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
