I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
