It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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