Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
