spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
