so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
