so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
