Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
