please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
