he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
