You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
