i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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