New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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