They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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