so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
