yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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