So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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