im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize