I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
