Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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