The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
