then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
