I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
