A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This girl is more easily done than said...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize