i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
