okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
