the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
