babies were throwing up all over the place
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
