Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Too much gin, very little bucket
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
