dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
