There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
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Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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