pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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