My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude i'm inner monologue high
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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