I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
