he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry my hands just texted you
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
