Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
