So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
