Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize