Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
3 2 1 whiskey
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
