he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
