i permit you to call me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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