I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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