He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
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HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
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I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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