Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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