I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
