Say something about gay babies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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