i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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