i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
